I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
