Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im holly from the hills drunk
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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