Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
ttyl tear gas
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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