around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
