Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Floor bacon is actually really good
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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