My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
