i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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