So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
