Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
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Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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