New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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