hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
