You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
cat food counts as protein by the way
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
