Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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