Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
