Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
