If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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