don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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