Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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