And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
