i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
