Me. At least after what I've been through.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
