Small penises have feelings too.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
