I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
