"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
why do cheetos always look like penises
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
