Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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