things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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