Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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