I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm sobbing to NWA
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
