when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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