Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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