He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
