thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
