I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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