is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
