Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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