Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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