just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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