Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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