My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
