I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
