Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
