I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
