we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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