Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
this hospital has no fireball
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
