Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
