You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize