Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
