omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
