I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
