Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
