Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
