Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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