i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
