So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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