you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
wow bdsm is so cute
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
