What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet