Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo