P.S. I can't hear my feet
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?