i'm signing you up for texting rehab
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
