i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
