I think i peed on brittanys purse
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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